


Experiential Moments

by RomanticMuse



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-30
Updated: 2014-12-28
Packaged: 2018-02-27 14:11:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2695925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RomanticMuse/pseuds/RomanticMuse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of moments where Oliver and/or Felicity come to important realizations about their relationship.</p><p>They're not mine, I own NOTHING.  (A girl can dream, right?)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Descending into Bliss

In that moment, as she fell apart - she reached blindly for his hand. She held on tight, until she whimpered, finally coming down from the peak he'd driven her to. Her eyes fluttered open as she untangled her fingers from his, finding him watching her with a gentle smile.

Little did she know, that with a single motion, she'd melted the last remains of the blackness around his heart. 

Oliver Queen looked down at the woman who had freed his heart from its cold, dark prison. His smile grew, as he wondered what he had ever done to deserve such trust. He watched as her eyes shifted and focused on him, peering deep into the most vulnerable places of his soul. In the past, he'd hidden them -never allowing any love or lover in. She was different, always had been...ever since she saved him. In reality, he thought, Felicity Smoak saved him a little more every day.

"Hi," Felicity whispered quietly. She didn't want this moment to end. It had taken them so long to get here, and she was afraid any sudden movements might shatter the illusion she was terrified this was. 

"Hey," Oliver whispered back. He'd felt the way she tensed up, like she was nervous. "I'm here, not going anywhere. That was incredible." He rested his forehead against hers, closing his eyes. He'd spent hours learning every square inch of her body, every reaction to his touch. He knew the likelihood was that she would want to do the same to him, soon. For once, he had no hesitations. 

Felicity felt him relax against her, and the nervous babble she'd been barely holding back suddenly seemed irrelevant. Her fingers drifted up along his back, tracing scars as she went. When her hands reached his neck, she played with his hair for a moment before placing her fingertips gently on either side of his face. "You still amaze me, Oliver Queen," she sighed, finally letting her body relax underneath his. Her eyes closed again, and she slipped into peaceful rest.

Oliver sensed the instant she'd fallen asleep, and his smile grew wider. It felt good to know the trust was mutual. While he wanted to rest as well, this moment was perfect. She'd trusted him, in the most intimate of moments, to keep her safe. She'd reached for his hand and clung to him, knowing that he would not fail her. She had personally ensured in that one movement, that the walls around his heart lay in shattered rubble. Despite this realization, sleep began to take hold of Oliver. He rolled off to the side, and heard Felicity whimper in her sleep at the loss of his body. "I'm still here, Felicity," he whispered, "Still have you safe in my arms where we both belong." His voice seemed to calm her, and she drifted deeper. He took a last look around the Foundry, before snuggling her close as his eyelids grew heavy.

 

Felicity woke with a start, sure she had missed all of her alarms. "I am so fired," she cursed under her breath as she tried to sit up, Oliver's arm successfully keeping her right against his body. "Oliver, come on! I have to get to the office, you know how much I can't stand being late...not that anyone ever really likes being late, unless you're trying for certain things like that...in which case I suppose it's not a bad thing....but I really need my coffee or else I won't be functional at all today, and what good is an executive assistant who doesn't function?" 

The ramble left her lips and she realized that Oliver wasn't letting her go. In fact, his body was responding to her struggling against the weight of his arm. She couldn't see his face, but wouldn't have been surprised if a sly smile crept over it as he pulled her closer. "Five more minutes, Felicity, it’s still early," he mumbled, and she could hear the smile on his lips. There was nothing she could do but smile as well, sleepy Oliver had just become one of her newest favorite things ever. She pressed her hips back against his pelvis gently, and felt him shiver. That was something else that had quickly become a favorite.

Oliver growled softly, as he felt her body press closer to him. He reached for his cell phone to check the time. As usual, he was running behind, and even the 5 minutes he'd mumbled for would have them arriving late to the office - but she was so warm and inviting. There was no way that he was going to resist. His hands slipped over her body and pulled her closer, as he moved against her. In a tone that closely resembled his voice modulator’s, he warned her, “This will be fast, and rough - do you still want it?” 

Despite their activities last night, he felt the need to give her the choice - he knew she was right, and they were already running late. This thing, whatever it was, between them was still new - he’d not truly lost control with her. If he were honest, he’d only worshiped her for hours, straight through until morning. They’d not discussed boundaries or limits, or what was happening between them at all. 

Felicity knew full well that she could not possibly last until that night, not without spontaneously bursting into flames at her desk. There was no way she could watch him stalk his office like a caged tiger, and not wish for that pent-up tension to be unleashed upon her. She would never be able to sit comfortably in her chair, aching for a release whose source was 15 feet away, behind a glass wall. She whimpered and pressed back against him again, all but begging, “Oliver, please!” 

He knew she was ready and aching for him, but it still surprised him how easily he was able to slide in. He had no words to describe the heaven that he felt, but he’d known from the first moment he felt her the night before that he’d been a fool. He’d spent hours...days even… convincing himself that this was a bad idea. The instant he felt her clench around him, all those thoughts faded away. When he heard her scream his name, the last vestiges of control left him. His fingers pressed harder into his hips, and he knew there would be marks there. She never came down from her peak, before he joined her with a low growl. He intertwined his fingers with hers, as he melted against her.

They would be very late to work, indeed.


	2. Breaking the Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes a moment of silence makes the heart realize what it needs...

Felicity heard Oliver's voice through the comm, and sighed in relief. This was the closest call she'd ever witnessed, and it had shaken her up. More than she'd initially thought. 

She reminded herself that Oliver had been doing this for years, alone. That he'd stitched his own wounds and survived torture. That close calls were second nature to him. She shook her head, and fidgeted nervously in her chair - this one had been different, somehow.

Felicity felt her heart all but jump out of her chest when the sound of Oliver's footsteps became clear. Her fingers gripped her computer chair so hard her knuckles turned white, and subconsciously she began to hold her breath. Felicity was both enthralled and terrified by the man walking toward her. 

He was the living personification of her fantasy world, especially in leather...something edgy and exquisitely intense radiated from him, making her shiver. At the same time, she had realized tonight that he held her heart in the palm of his hand. While late night encounters had been physically satisfying, she thought she had shielded her heart from the danger of loving Oliver Queen. She gasped as she realized that she had completely failed.

"Felicity?" he said, searching for an answer to the question she had never even registered that he asked. She let her breath out, and prepared herself to say something...anything other than the words that were creeping toward the edge of her tongue.

"Hmmm?" she replied, somewhat pleased that she had controlled herself. He didn't need to hear her babble about how scared she was, or the risks, or the fact that she suddenly had an emotional meltdown over his significance to her. All he needed from her was to be stitched up, bandaged up, fed, and likely to be spoiled with the best blowjob she'd ever given.

"I asked if you were okay. It looked like you we upset by something, and that your chair might suffer the consequences," he repeated, slipping closer into her personal space than she felt comfortable with. His hand touched her shoulder, as he'd done a million times before. This time it felt like lightning passed between them. She met his gaze and sighed.

"I think so? I mean, you were the one out there, in danger, again...not that I don't think you can handle yourself...I know you've dealt with worse, so I'm not sure why you're worried about me. I don't need to make it harder...." she blushed a deep crimson and continued, "Not that kind of harder, even though that's very nice, too...and I'm going to shut up now in 3...2....1...."

Oliver's smile at her rant surprised her. He was so collected most of the time, except when he was doing the growly Arrow-thing, which he usually only did when someone made him emotional or threatened someone he cared about. She really couldn't see what made her so special to him, since she was just such a ball of nerves and emotions. He rubbed her shoulder gently, and finally set his bow down.

"Okay, I know I said I was going to shut up, but you scared me, Oliver. I thought you weren't coming back and I didn't know what to do with...." her voice cracked, and Oliver pulled her to him, pressing his lips against hers. His hand started twisting her hair around his fingers, as he kissed her gently again.

"I'm safe. You're safe. We're here, and everything is going to be fine." he said, pulling her close, so her head could rest on his shoulder. "Come on," he said, leading her toward the small bed they'd slept in so many times before after a passionate night. 

Felicity allowed him to gently tug her toward the bed they'd shared several times before, feeling her fears melt away. She stripped out of her clothes, and slipped into one of Oliver's t-shirts. She curled up on the bed, and watched him change as well, wishing she could feel sexually charged about him in leather. Right now, the only thing she wanted was to fall asleep with her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

From the way he snuggled her into his chest, she had to believe he wanted the same. "Oliver," she whispered quietly as she curled into his chest, "Thank you for coming home to me..." 

"I'll always come back to you, Felicity..." he said, sounding as if he could fall asleep mid sentence. His fingers gently massaged her back and neck, and suddenly he was around asleep. She closed her eyes, simply enjoying the heartbeat of the man she'd grown to love...and thought to herself that tomorrow would be a new chance to show him just much.


	3. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joint realizations as Oliver returns from the League of Assassins (based on assumptions made from 3.09).

Felicity Smoak had acquired a new scar, thanks to the evening’s activities. She lifted her shirt halfway and looked in the mirror at the set of stitches. Diggle had been extremely careful when stitching her up, and had even given her some of the ‘aspirin’ he’d given her the first time. Sadly, that had since worn off and the pain was starting to set in. She noted the bruising already beginning around the edges of the cut, and winced as she tried to lay down.

The worst part, in her mind, was that Diggle had needed to do the stitching - along with working the case with her. Oliver was still gone with the League of Assassins, and everything reminded her of that fact. ‘It’s only been three weeks,’ Felicity mumbled to herself as she struggled to get comfortable. The statement was more to try to comfort herself than anything else. Even knowing what Oliver was capable of, she was still terrified that he would never come home.

Her mind replayed their parting, over and over again. His gentle kiss to her forehead as she wept, telling him that he wasn't allowed to say goodbye because it was bad luck and she didn't want it to be a real goodbye. Her hand tangling in his shirt, hoping that he couldn't leave if she didn't let go. His fingers gently running through her hair, tugging her closer so that he could kiss her. Before she fell asleep, every night, she heard him whisper - “I love you, and will fight to come home to you.” Every night, she fell asleep with tears in her eyes.

This night was no different, as far as Felicity could tell. She finally drifted off into restless sleep, unaware of the shadowy figure lurking on her fire escape - the figure that mirrored the tears in her eyes, as he saw the damage that had been done to her in his absence. As he watched her sleep, he sunk to his knees on the cold metal - he hadn't been there to protect her, or care for her after she was hurt. This blood was on his hands. The blood of the woman he loved was on his hands. It could never happen again.

~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning, Felicity struggled to get dressed for work. Every movement she made tugged at the stitches around her ribs, and she felt like they were tearing when she tried to zip her dress. She shrugged on a button-up shirt, and pulled a knit skirt on instead before heading out the door to the office. The rest of the world couldn't know that anything had happened to her, lonely as the thought seemed. She needed to be strong, and just keep living life.

Upon her arrival, she noticed that some small items on her desk had been moved. Nothing was missing, however, someone had clearly been at her desk. She opened all the drawers to ensure nothing had been taken, cringing as she reached for the bottom one. Once she was satisfied that everything was as it should be, she logged into her workstation and began to complete her duties.

Evening could not come fast enough, Felicity thought as she typed furiously away at the code she was working on. She sipped her coffee, and looked out the window for a moment at the sun setting in the distance. She sighed softly, thoughts getting the better of her, and returned to the project in front of her. The new site for Palmer Technologies had required extra security parameters be embedded, and the task was one that easily would take her through the next morning as well if she didn't focus. 

Long after night had fallen, the code was complete and the site had been tested. Felicity winced as she collected her keys from her desk drawer and headed to the elevator. Even just keeping her posture in check at her computer had put strain on both the stitches and all of her muscles - she felt like she had located muscles that she didn't even know could exist. She waited patiently for the elevator, and then walked out into the parking garage. Her right hand gripped her keys tightly, as she walked to her car, hyper-aware of her surroundings and the fact that she was one of the few remaining individuals at the office this late.

She heard footsteps behind her, and spun around to see a man walking about 20 yards behind her. Never in her life had she been so thankful for electronic locks and push-to-start mechanisms on vehicles. She picked up her pace, walking faster to her car - and heard the man’s footsteps quicken as well. She threw the door open and got inside, locking it immediately behind her. The man reached the car as she was attempting to buckle her seat belt, and started pounding on the window. Felicity panicked, reaching for the button on her dash that would allow her phone to call Diggle. She heard the glass start to crack as she shifted the car into drive, and sped away as quickly as she could. 

She left Diggle a voicemail, trying to calm herself down from the panicked state she was in, and drove home. All she could hope was that this man didn't know where she lived, and that he wouldn't come looking for her. Even still, when she arrived home she checked her surroundings before getting out of the car - and once inside she checked all her locks four more times than she normally would have. She wondered if this was how Oliver felt, every time he entered a room - and if it would ever become second nature to her. Currently, it was terrifying to have to question her safety everywhere, and she wasn't sure how long she could stand for things to feel this way.

When Diggle returned her call, she jumped and almost threw her phone. “Yes, I’m home and safe. My doors are locked, I don’t know who he was…. Not sure I want to know, really… and I still have to set up an appointment to have the glass in my window replaced, don’t ask me how I’m going to explain that away this time…” her voice faded off as she turned the TV on and saw the news. The man who had been trying to break into her car had been found dead at the scene, right next to her parking spot, with three arrows in his chest. “Dig, did you…?” she asked, unable to formulate the words. She knew that he had been taking patrols while Oliver was gone, and that it probably would explain why he didn't answer her call - but why would he not have told her that he’d been there? 

“No, Felicity, I didn't. I thought I’d gotten your call too late. By the time I got to the parking garage, the police were already processing the scene. I stayed long enough to make sure your car was gone, and then left.” Diggle answered her, relief in his voice at the fact that he wouldn't have to tell Oliver he’d failed in protecting Felicity in his absence. “I’m outside your place, and I’m going to stay out here tonight and keep an eye on things. No arguments.” The call disconnected before she could even think of how to argue with him, and she stared at her phone in disbelief. 

The rest of the evening, she felt like her blood pressure never decreased. She was sure she’d checked her locks 55 times in the time she’d been home. In her mind, she could hear Oliver’s voice, and the tears streamed down her face as she leaned against the bathroom door…. which she’d also locked despite the fact that no one else was there. She ran through the scenarios that Diggle had run her through for self defense, wondering which ones would hurt her ribs less. ‘It doesn't matter which ones hurt less, as long as I walk away...’ she muttered under her breath, shifting from tears to complete aggravation. No one had the right to make her feel unsafe in her own home. 

Felicity stomped out to the kitchen, incensed with her new found anger, and ignored her phone as it beeped behind her from the bedroom. She grabbed the largest knife she could find, and her knuckles went white from how tightly she gripped it as she walked back toward her bedroom. Enough was enough, she thought, no more being a victim….no more thinking like a victim. She couldn't rely on Oliver being there to protect her all the time, it wasn't fair to him or herself. Mentally, she made a note to have Diggle show her more self defense moves tomorrow - it was high time she was able to do more to protect herself.

As she rounded the corner into her bedroom, she saw the window open from her fire escape, just a moment too late. She pulled her arm up to use the knife, and found herself pressed up against the wall. Panic mode set in, and she struggled to get free. She opened her mouth to scream, but found a gloved hand covering it within seconds. Her arms and legs were both pinned by a heavy weight, but she couldn't see her attacker’s face - he was pressed too closely to her body. She had almost resigned herself to the fact that it was over and that fighting would only get her hurt worse when a deep voice whispered harshly in her ear. “Don’t ever give up like that with anyone else, please tell me I didn't hurt you…” 

Her eyes widened and his hand muffled the shrieked ‘Oliver?!?’ that was begging to come out of her mouth. “I tried to warn you…. I texted you and you didn't answer…. “ his voice continued softly, and he felt her relax against him. The knife clattered to the ground, as he wrapped her up in his arms. 

“I thought you were…. I couldn't do anything but….when did you....THAT WAS YOU, WASN'T IT?” Felicity’s voice grew louder with each sentence fragment as she pieced the information together, realizing that it had been Oliver who had killed the man in the parking garage. He nodded, almost imperceptibly, and she whimpered. In an instant, she shifted away from incredulous anger and her loud voice. “You...killed to save me again,” she whispered, suddenly full of guilt. “I apparently have a really bad habit of making you break that vow…”

Oliver chuckled softly as Felicity came to the realization that he’d killed for her again. “I will break that vow a million times if it means you’re safe, Felicity.” His eyes fixed on her face, and she felt as if he’d pierced her soul. “I mean it, that is all that matters. All I could think about was that something would happen to you, and I wouldn't be there to stop it…. and I was too late.” His guilt read plainly on his face, and Felicity felt the tears well up in her eyes.

“Oliver, please… this wasn't your fault,” she whispered, looking up at him. Her hands reached up to his face, and she almost hid the wince as her stitches pulled just a bit. “It’s worth every minute of it, to know you’re home. The pain will go away, and hey, I have a new scar!” Her eyes lit up, almost proud that she could handle the pain - even if it wasn't half of what the boys went through every night.

“You shouldn't have more scars…” he said quietly. His fingers skimmed under her shirt, and lifted it so that he could see Diggle’s handiwork. Oliver knelt down in front of her, holding her shirt up… and softly kissed the healing wound. He smiled against her skin when he felt her jump as she gasped. “I’m sorry I wasn't here to take care of you myself….” his voice trailed off as he continued to trace his fingers over her soft skin. He leaned in, and kissed every inch he could reach of her exposed body. 

“Oliver….” Felicity whimpered as he pressed his lips to her skin, “More….please…” She tightened her fingers against her shoulders, feeling him kiss a line down her stomach to her hip. Her breath drew in sharply as she felt his fingers hook in her pajamas and drag them to the floor, then his lips and tongue moved against her. She shrugged out of her shirt, and vaguely recognized that he was still wearing all of his clothes before her focus was ripped away from her. Soon, his fingers joined his tongue and lips, pressing deep within her - and yet, she wanted more. “Please just take me, Oliver...I need you…” she whined, pressing against his fingers, forcing them deeper inside her.

With a low growl, he stood up and kissed her. He knew she could taste herself on his lips and that only made him want her more. He loosened the ties on his leather pants and slid them down, lifting Felicity’s body up against the wall. As she slipped down onto him, he groaned. They’d waited for this far too long. “Not like this,” he whispered, carrying her to the bed and gently laying her down on the soft comforter. “You deserve so much better than a wall…”

“So long as I get the wall later,” she whimpered as her body moved against him. She was rewarded by another growl, and the feeling of him hardening inside her. Every moment, more sensations washed over her, growing more and more intense. “Please...finish with me,” she begged as she felt his fingers brush over her, drawing her release out. As she tightened around him, she felt him join her. 

Oliver quickly moved to brace himself so that his weight did not land on her, and leaned down to kiss her gently. “I missed you, so much,” he sighed as he laid down next to her. “Do you mind if I stay?” The last thing he wanted was to leave her side, ever again. He was too afraid to tell her everything he’d learned while he was away, the depth of the emotions that were surging through his mind. There was no telling how quickly she would want to move forward, if she did at all… and right now all he wanted was to feel her breathe against him and know he could protect her.

“Of course you can stay, if you promise never to leave me again,” Felicity whispered as she snuggled up into his chest. In the back of her mind, she knew that they’d need to figure out their future… but they could deal with that later. She traced his scars with her fingertips, and listened to his heart beat as she fell asleep without tears for the first time in weeks.


	4. Fresh Start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The comms go out again, and this time Felicity has had enough

With the comms cut out, Felicity was left to pace across the floor of the Foundry like a caged animal.

No matter how many times she told herself that there were certain places the signal just wouldn't reach, it didn't matter. Something could happen in those precious seconds, and she would never get the chance to fix it. Even worse, she might never get the chance to explore whatever this…. thing….. was with Oliver. 

She knew it was ridiculous, that he’d made his decision months ago that he just couldn't be himself and the Arrow. She’d been holding on to hope all this time, that something would finally make him realize what he was missing. For that matter, that something would click in his mind and make him realize that she was safer WITH HIM than without. Every single time she’d been taken or hurt, he’d been somewhere else, without her. What was it going to take to make that point clear?

“What point?” She heard from behind her, and cringed. She’d done it again...the whole ‘talking-out-loud-and-not-meaning-to’ thing. Suddenly, she realized that the voice didn't sound… right. She spun around to see Oliver leaning on the table, covered in blood.

“Doesn't matter, why didn't you say something?? Thank you for not bleeding on the computers, by the way… not that it matters, you’re what matters…” Felicity’s words trailed off as she grabbed the med bag and threw it on the table. She was getting better at putting in stitches than she cared to admit. “Why do you still have clothes on? I mean….just…. take your shirt off….ummmmm, that’s not much better, is it? Just… let me see the damage.”

Her nimble fingers made quick work of the wound, and before she knew it, she was patting the last of the antibiotic ointment on his skin. She pulled her fingers back quickly when she realized it was more of a caress than anything else at the end. Her eyes met his, and she couldn't quite decipher his expression. He certainly wasn't mad, but at the same time, he was just staring right through her. “There. All patched up.” 

“Thank you.” Oliver reached out and put his hand on her shoulder, the gesture that had become more endearing than most men’s afterglow to her. “So, what point were you talking about?” Clearly, she thought, he wasn't about to drop the subject. On the list of endearing but exasperating qualities about Oliver Queen, the top item was ‘getting people to spill their guts.’ She shrugged, trying desperately to come up with a cover story that was better than his ‘energy drink in a syringe’ nonsense. “The truth, please.” 

She took a deep breath, releasing it in a quick rush of words...not quite in her Loud Voice, but close enough. “The fact that your comms keep cutting out and something could happen and I’d never even get to kiss you properly or do anything better than that without you making decisions about my heart and my safety for me and you not realizing that it’s every time you leave me that something happens.” Leaning against the table where he sat, she let her head hang, refusing to make eye contact any further. There was no way this could go well, and she certainly wasn't about to watch him break her heart a second time.

“You’re right.” The words pierced her soul, and her eyes shot up to meet his. 

“Excuse me, I’m …. what?” She blinked a few times, watching his eyes darken. Okay, now he was aggravated. He had to be.

“You’re right. Anything could happen, I made the decision I needed to at the time. I’m beginning to realize it was the wrong decision.” Oliver’s words cut her to the core. She started to hyperventilate, and her hands shook. “What I’m trying to say, Felicity, is that I love you.” She thought back to their last conversation when the comms had cut out, and began to wish she’d thrown a hissy fit sooner.

Felicity wasn't sure her legs would hold her up anymore. She let more of her weight fall against the table, and felt Oliver’s arms wrap around her. He pressed a kiss to her temple, and repeated, “I love you.” Her walls finally broke down, hearing the sweet words and feeling him next to her. Within seconds, her eyes were filled with tears. Tears he was wiping away, still smiling at her.

“I love you too, Oliver.” The edges of her mouth finally twisted upward in a grin that was starting to mirror his. The nervous energy that had been building in her body since the radio silence, finally left her. She tucked her face into his neck and whispered, “I was just so afraid that I’d never get to tell you. That you’d never come around.”

“I know,” Oliver said, his smile fading away into an expression of guilt for a moment. “There have been so many times I wanted to tell you… I just wasn't sure how to not seem like even more of a jerk.” His fingers traced invisible patterns over her shoulders and back, a gesture she found strangely comforting. “I regret every minute that I haven’t spent with you. Every single one of them.”

The waterworks that Felicity had been so sure were closed off, opened again with renewed vigor. She hid her face in his neck as she sobbed, not quite sure if she was mourning their lost time or just relieved. “Me too,” she whispered. 

“So, how about we start with a burger and fries, and see where the night takes us?” Oliver’s words made her sniffle a bit more. The fancy dinner idea hadn't gone so well, so maybe something where they both didn't have to try so hard would go better.

“A fresh start sounds perfect.” Felicity took his hand in hers, and led him toward the door.


End file.
